Hanging Out At the Mall

There he is... just 10-years of good-looking!

So it finally happened... my 10-year-old son was invited to hang out with some girls at the mall.

A day we have sort of been dreading a bit - not that we dislike his friends or anything, but this is a step in a new direction. Of course - at only 10-years-old - his mother will not allow him to go to the mall by himself. And she considers going with friends at his age to still be going "by himself."

One of the young ladies' mother was accompanying them - but the plans were for a five hour extravaganza of shopping, eating, more shopping and more eating... frankly, I do not have that kind of time to be following a bunch of kids around. Luckily, once we were there, the parents all put their heads together and decided the day would be significantly shorter.

Side note: my son is (still) grounded. When he brought up this idea of going to the mall with his friends we were not too happy about it. We required some above & beyond good behavior from him in order for him to get to do this.

While he did not completely deliver on acting right – it was enough that we decided to go ahead and let him go. Mostly, because he had done nothing but talk about this event and all the plans all week and we were curious to see how it would go… But he was going to be accompanied by our whole family!

The other parents involved were great – and happy enough to all leave their children in the company of the one parent. I do not know if they were happy to see that my family was tagging along as well (me in my kilt & Doc Martens, my girl all gothic out, and the little sister along as well), but it did give us the opportunity to meet with some of his friends’ parents.

I am having a great time!

I was a lot more willing to let the kids run around partially unsupervised than my son’s mother! The girl’s mother who was accompanying them was even more hands-off than I was. And, really, it was not a problem because, to their credit, the kids acted respectably. They looked through a clothing store, trying things on and looking through accessories.

Next, to the bookstore (which I was very happy to see them interested in), then to dinner, before dessert at another place, and lastly there was running around and playing open square of this outdoor mall.

Over dinner, I asked my daughter (since we were sitting at one table, the mothers at another, and the other kids at a third) if she thought that my son liked the one girl. My daughter said absolutely. I asked my daughter if she thought that the girl liked my son... and my daugher said no.

He is destined for heartbreak.

From the conversation with this girl's mother, her daughter is very dominant - something her mother says she learned from her. Strong-willed and willing to go after what she wants. This is good - I want my son to meet these kind of strong women and have them in his life.

But at the same time, this girl is only putting up with my son. He is too willing to just do whatever it is she tells him to do. A couple times while they were all running around in the square, I called him over to point out to him he needed to stop doing whatever it was that they asked (as it involved him taking a diving roll off a wall and running at full speed through the square - apparently for a Vine video or something they were shooting. Once or twice, fine - but by the seventh & eighth time he was doing it, I was like, "enough!").

My son told me that he did what they asked because he respected them - and I realized he is not at the point yet where he understands being respectful does not mean just doing whatever you are told.

A lesson he will (hopefully_ learn soon.

Dating?! Aaaauuugggghhh!!!!!!

Young Love (and Other Things)

Today I met both my son's crush and my daughter's nemise. 

My kids attends a Sunday school at the insistence of both their grandmothers. Not that I feel it is not important, it is just that it is REALLY early in the morning for me and their mom. Just saying. 

But we keep up on it. Help them learn their prayers and go over the details of their instruction (I answer a fair amount of morality questions... Let that thought take hold). However, we are really not very active in their actual classrooms, or interact with their teachers or the other students. 

This last week was the end of this school year, though, and my son's class had a breakfast for all the parents so, as parents, we were obliged to go. My son kept acting squirrelly, though, so finally I confronted him:

"Hey man," I said. "Do you not want your mom and I to go to this thing?"

"No," he replied.

"You sure? Cause we really don't want to go."

"No, I want you to go... Wait - you don't want to go?"

"We are not going to embarrass you or anything? You're not ashamed to be seen with us? Cause you are kind of embarrassing."

"Nothing like that... Wait - I'm embarrassing."

"Don't say things like that, you'll get a complex. Then what is the deal with you? You're all squirrelly."

"Dad... Can I ask you a question?"

"Get the candy first, son."

"Not that... What should I do of I lurk a girl...?"

That was it! The world might as well have been ending. His mother burst into tears. The dog howled forlornly. The cat hissed and arched its back. I stood up pointing accusingly:

"I know this day would come! You're gonna go to jail, son!!"

He looked surprised. "For liking a girl?!?"

His mother sobbed harder. The dog hunkered on the floor and covered its eyes with its paws. The cat jumped down and ran off. I sat back down. 

"Oh, liked. I thought you were getting involved in stalking someone."

"Is that bad?"

"I'm my experience, it is very time consuming. But never mind that now - who is this girl?"

So the story came out: there was a girl in Grennan's class that he thought was cute. Over his mother's sobs, he gushed about this girl. What she did. Who her friend was. Blah blah blah...

Whatever. They are 9-years-old. Not a lot or world-changing revelations there. 

But it was cute and he wa adorable talking about her. But, eventually, I had to ask him why we were having this discussion. 

My son's birthday comes at the end of the school year. It has become something of a tradition to make his birthday party a big cook-out/summer kick-off with his mates, school chums and their families, as well as with our extended families (invitations go out to second cousins, great-aunts, the whole gamut) and friends of the family, as well as out of town friends who find themselves even remotely close to our house. It is huge.

So it came down to my son wanting to invite this girl to this big 10th birthday party. THIS was a  step in a direction, for sure.

So now our attendance at the breakfast had another purpose: to help him ask the girl to the party. 

While we were there it was cute, as he tried to surreptitiously watch her to see if she was looking at him. Rehearsing what he wanted to say to her. U.S. Discussing how he should present himself to her parents (who were there). I pointed out to him that her best friend never left we side - so he was going to have to ask both of them, not just to be polite - but also so she could have someone she was comfortable with at his party, too, until she got to know everyone. 

But we could not get him to talk to her! Shyness was winning over his game - and when her family (and her friend & friend's family) stood up to leave early, disaster almost struck. Luckily, I fear neither man, devil, or Buddha - so I sidled up to the parents and managed to get my son's invitation across.

Now, we see what happens at the party. 

After the breakfast and party invite, we headed to my daughter's classroom. My daughter looked adorable in a summer-y dress that set off her blue eyes and blonde hair, and cute sandals. But I noticed her giving sideways looks at a girl in her class wearing a cute summer-y dress that set off her dark hair and brown eyes, with cute sandals -- all mayhaps a wee touch more stylish than what my daughter wore.

Sideways looks turned into a glare when this girl was given a prize bag for good attendance to class. 

Later, in the car getting ready to head home, I asked my daughter who the girl was and if they were friends. She spit ou the girls name like it was a curse, and said with exaggerated enunciation:

"She is my nemesis!"

7-year-old girls are scary enough, I am not looking forward to the teenage years.