FINALLY : This Year's Father Daughter Dance!

Sorry! Have been off schedule from posting twice a week as I originally planned -- but, after today, we should be back on track!

Matching corsages seemed VERY important this year!

Friday the 13th was the annual Father Daughter Dance at my daughter's all-girl academy. Once again, the pressure was on to make sure she had a wonderful experience.

Luckily, I thrive under pressure!!

No. Not really. Was very stressful. BUT we were intent on having a good time, and so that is exactly what we set out to do.

Last year there was a huge snowstorm that made the evening a little more stressful as I tried to get us to the restaurant, the dance, to another restaurant, and then home. Of course, all those places were very spread out from each other, so it was very difficult. This year, we opted to keep everything closer to the actual dance location.

Luckily - no snow storm! Unfortunately - sub-zero temperatures made being outside uncomfortable, to say the least!

Also, since the happens just before Valentine's Day, flower prices are through the roof! Last year, getting the corsages was pretty expensive, and we were not quite happy as we would have liked with it - so this year we took advantage of buying lots of flowers to hand make a couple of corsages exactly like we wanted.

Last year's picture at home before leaving. What a cutie!

This year's picture... She is growing up!

We were lucky we had much of the day to prepare. There was no school that day, so there was time for my daughter to really enjoy the excitement of getting ready for the big day: an outfit to pick out, bathing & primping, hair getting done...

I, too, took time to groom - showering, shaving, oiling up my hair and beard. Checking and rechecking my suit to make sure it was pressed (and lint rolling off any stray dog hair -- which is ALL over the place at our house). Shining shoes (mine AND hers). If you are wondering, I did check with my daughter a couple of times to make sure I was groomed enough (yes, I did offer to shave my beard if she wanted me to - but she did not), and that she approved of my outfit and accessory choices.

Time for pictures from her mother and the grandparents (who came to watch her prepare, adding to the festivities), then off to dinner.

Now, last year we went to a very upscale Japanese restaurant before the dance, and afterward went to a diner for milkshakes. Originally, my daughter wanted to head back to the sushi restaurant, but after reminding her how tired she was by the end of the evening last year and discussing how she would have to choose only one restaurant to go to - she opted for milkshakes beforehand!

Since I was not specific on how many milkshakes she could have - it got a little out of control.

So of course, being my daughter, she was double-fisting milkshakes through dinner and seriously ready to party by the time we got to the dance.

And a little indulgence... Every girl likes getting a ring.
Especially one out of the gumball machine by the door.

The first bit of the dance was filled with little girls running all over the dance floor - a lot of sitting around and waiting for something to happen. Then, at last, the DJ really got the music going - and everyone hit the floor dancing. It pretty much did not stop all night!

It is funny, though, how it seemed that when he played "old school" - some Missy Elliot (expertly edited for content, btw), Kriss Kross, and some others - that was when everybody really hit the floor!

My daughter's only complaint last year was that they never played any slow songs - so she never had a chance to just have a dance with me. I do not know if that was something that other people said, too - but this year the DJ made sure to play a couple of songs (I am sure typical ones for a bride's dance with her father at wedding receptions) so we could all have a quiet dance moment with our own daughter. It was great! But it did make me a little sad, too - that my girl is growing up.

One thing I really enjoy about this dance is seeing the excitement of the girls hanging there with their dads. Many of these dads wore outfits matching their daughter's outfits (my kudos to the father there with his three daughters - he managed to coordinate everything!). They escorted their daughters from room to room. Made sure they had everything they needed. Even while the girls were on the floor dancing to Justin Bieber & Katy Perry (which few self-respecting men would do), the dads were clustered around the floor, taking pictures & video, all looking very proud.

I should know - I was one of them.

So we were at the dance until it was over, over. My lovely date worn out by so much dancing and fun -- we were off to go home, where she fell asleep sharing my chair with me as we recounted our fun times for her mother. All in all - a perfect evening!

Honestly, Dad, I've just had enough of your crap.

Shoot the First One & the Word Will Spread

Everyone should stand for something. Just not necessarily out in the rain being creepy about it.

Here is a quick sigh of relief! This article appeared on Cracked.com - 6 Viral Stories That Were Total BS (http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/1-in-3-men-love-rape-6-viral-stories-that-were-total-bs/). At the forefront is that the "1 in 3 Men Love Rape" story I sited at the beginning of that an article on 1/19 (http://datingtipsfortossers.blogspot.com/2015/01/who-thinks-rape-is-okay.html) was a BS article based only on interviews with 73 people. I assume they were all drunk during the interview. HOPEFULLY *that* version of reality is true...

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While I have talked about this blog starting from my son's questions about dating -- this is also a blog for my daughter. About what her expectations should be when dating. Something which I should point out that, of course, she is never going to do!

At our house we just received the notice about the upcoming Father Daughter dance at her school (she attends a public, all-girls academy; just as my son attends an all-boys one). This notice brings with it a LOT of excitement! Last year, after it arrived and we determined I would be in town and able to attend, I got a serious talking-to about how important this is.

When the time arrived last year, her mother rightfully pointed out that it is my responsibility to show my daughter what she should expect on a date. Therefore, I should go all out in making sure everything was set up correctly. So there was a corsage, much preparation and fancy clothes, dinner beforehand, attending the dance (where I was very gracious to all she wanted to do - which, being only 6, involved running in circles around the dance floor with her friends), and then ice cream before heading home. All of this in a huge snow storm... But I got us safely there and back. 

There were pictures, laughs. Dinner was a pretty fancy place (cloth napkins). A nightcap (ice cream). Getting the hair & nails done. All in all - the quintessential date experience.

Once at said dance, I was glad to see I was not the only one. There were a lot of fathers in suits, often complementing their "date"'s outfit (as mine did). For every dad in jeans, there were 3 dressed to the "T." BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE, I am definitely not dogging on anyone who was there! No matter what they wore, they were there and they were present. Seeing all these dads with their daughters was an awesome sight. 

The only downside was the DJ never really played a song that I could dance with my daughter to. She was also disappointed about that...

This year when the invite arrived from school, it led to a discussion with my daughter's mother about the real importance of having me be present for things that she is doing. For what both kids are doing, actually. The discussion also led to an ongoing conversation (read: argument) about doing things with the kids and the family.

Please note: my children's mother and I are together. I feel I should mention that because I am trying not to use names and stuff but since we are not married, I cannot call her my wife, so it is either "children's mother," or I refer to her as my "baby mama."

Her feeling is that we should spend every moment we can with the kids. My argument is that it is about quality, not quantity. We are lucky with what we do that we get to be home so much; but it still tough when we are on the road. When we get to take the kids, that is when quality time is the most important. I try to be at every event (swim meets, spelling bees, school concerts, and dances) -- and I am sad when I cannot be there for any and everything, but working & making money to support everyone is important, too. Sometimes I just have to make a choice.

When looking for viewpoints similar to my own - and to hopefully get some advice - I found Jim Lindberg's book "Punk Rock Dad" (http://www.amazon.com/Punk-Rock-Dad-Rules-Just/dp/0061148768/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8)

THEN - even better - watched his 2011 documentary The Other F-Word (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Other_F_Word)

Whether a parent or not, I highly recommend you read the experiences of the lead singer of the punk band, Pennywise (https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/pennywise/id2820315). Especially when he talks about having to deal with being away for long periods at a time - and what that means to his three (3) daughters. One of the best moments in his documentary for my girl & I was when he can finally attend the Father Daughter Dance at her school - something he had not previously been able to do because of touring and traveling. But he realized the importance of it, and began to rearrange his life to fit the needs of his daughters.

THAT is the kind of guy my daughter should want to date. But younger... way younger than Jim is...

Oh, jeez, Dad. You are embarrassing...